The First Step to Learning is Unlearning blog cover

Realization for the week: 

The older I get the more I want to smash the patriarchy right into the ground.  

I think it’s because the older I get the more I tally up the ways that the world we live in is designed by men for men. 

It’s insidious and extensive. 

Listen, did you know that the patriarchy even exists in the form of your day planner?  

Yes…your pretty, flower-y, script font, pink day planner is filled with the patriarchy. 

Here’s how: 

Our lives are designed around men’s 24 hour hormonal clock.  That’s right…men have hormones that cycle every 24 hrs. 

Hence the reason everything we do as humans is planned in 24 hr chunks. 


As women we have a 28 day hormonal cycle that is only talked about in terms of how much of a pain in the ass it is. 

Sad truth: I didn’t fully understand my cycle until about 5 years ago at the age of 33. 

We try to fit ourselves into a man’s 24 hour life because that’s what the patriarchy wants us to do.  

When we do this we end up: 

  • Exhausted
  • Lacking focus
  • Stuck

Just where the patriarchy wants us to be.

Because when we stay stuck they keep the power.  


What I’ve learned is that if I want to truly make an impact and build a big thriving business as I remain a good wife, mom, daughter, sister, and friend I need to unlearn this pattern and embrace how to live life according to my cycle. 

This realization led to another that is equally important: 

Often, we need to UN-learn something before we can learn something new. 

This made me think of teaching. 

You see it’s not good enough to just teach new information or ways of doing things, we need to also teach why the old way isn’t working. 

Practically speaking here’s what this looks like: 

  1. When you give examples in a lesson ALSO give non-examples 
  2. When a client is resisting making an important change–dig into what old story is keeping them resistant.  
  3. Help your clients compare what they know to what could be. 

Listen, if our clients stay stuck in old ways of thinking, being and doing they will not make the change they are after.  

Let’s help them unlearn those old shit ways so they can fully embrace a better way.  

How do you help your clients un-learn old ways of thinking, being, and doing? Comment and let me know. 

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